Find the Miracle is a conscious community for warrior parents…. parents who teach their children to rise above challenges and to live without limits. Parents who recognize that every parenting challenge is a gift and our children are our greatest teachers. Parents who look for, and find, miracles in the daily routine, the mundane tasks and the difficult moments. Parents who find miracles in the laughter, in the small victories and in the big changes. Find the Miracle strives to provide a space of empowerment and peace by sharing parenting miracles and love. We offer quality content, inspiring blog posts and valuable resources that promote healing and hope. Through sharing our own miracles, we support and inspire each other to help our children live their best lives.
My family is a big fan of Shark Week and Shark Fest on Discovery and NatGeo Wild. My son will often pretend he’s a shark and try to attack me while I’m folding laundry or vacuuming.
As a proud mommy, let me just say that his attempts to imitate an actual shark attack warrant an Oscar nomination.
Inevitably, programming on these shows will tell harrowing stories of people getting attacked, not by ferocious six-year-old boy sharks, but by real sharks. Last night, there was a show on that profiled a young man who lost his leg to a shark bite. The man mentioned that the shark attack was “the best thing” that had ever happened to him. My husband made the comment, “What a wonderful attitude to have.”
I turned, looked my husband squarely in the eye and said, “Is there any other attitude to have?”
We had a long discussion about attitude being everything and how you can use life experiences as opportunities or view them as catastrophes. I think attitude comes down to your beliefs about life and ultimately, if you believe life is for you or against you.
I believe that life is for me. Faith like this requires that I put on my big girl pants and really TRUST.
This belief hasn’t always come easy and some days, it still doesn’t.
For example, it took me a long time to accept that having a drug addicted mother was for me. I had many counselors tell me when I was younger that emotional abuse and neglect would someday be something that brought me strength and that I would use it for good. I would nod my head,
wanting yearning to believe that it was true, while my internal voice said, “Screw you.”
Eventually, I got to a point where my anger, resentment and sadness was so overwhelming I could barely function. I remember the moment like it was yesterday. I was in graduate school and was out for a morning run. Tears streamed down my face as I tried to outrun the toxic sludge of emotion that seemed to drag me down into complete and utter despair. It was the main feeling I had felt since I was old enough to feel anything at all and I desperately wanted to start experiencing something different.
Deep down, I knew I had a choice to make.
I could continue to stew and completely sink in my toxic sludge of emotion or let go and use my experience to try and help others (damn those counselors were right!).
So, I decided to climb out of the muck that had become my life and I started to re-write my story. This path has certainly not been what riding unicorns up and down rainbows must be like, but I no longer feel like I am choking on my own emotional vomit.
I have some friends and family members that are going through some
difficult experiences shitstorms. As a friend and I were texting back and forth the other day, this text flew out of my hands before I even knew it:
“Life happens for us, not to us. Start re-writing the story of why this is all happening. Think of all the amazing possibilities of what could come. I spent most of my life resenting and hating my mother. Now, with the exception of my children and husband, there is no one I love more than her.”
I sat for a moment after I sent that text, not only in shock, but with happy tears in the miracle of how so much had changed since that run 19 years ago. It also inspired me to look forward to all of the possibilities of what is to come in the future.
Kahlil Gibran sums it up best:
“Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens.”
I still don’t have all of the answers and my life continues to be a work in progress, but I am living what I made the choice to do….use my experiences to help others. I am also trying to teach my children the knowledge that what they each are going through right now is only here to help them in the future. I may not know what, where, when or for/with whom, but I have to trust that every experience I have is bringing me good in some form.
There are so many ways to start re-writing your life and changing your beliefs about the “why” this or that is happening. If you need a place to start, try sprinkling a dose of forgiveness everywhere. (More about forgiveness on the next blog).
Miracles. They are everywhere.
My daughter will turn three in a couple of weeks. I now refer to her as a “threenager.” She may be little, but her attitude is not. It is SO hard not to laugh as she tries bossing around everyone in the household to do her bidding. At times she even points her cute little index finger in my face … Read More
Prior to having my own children, many of my friends who were parents would talk about parental guilt. The question of “is what I’m doing good enough” seemed to pervade their parenting. I didn’t understand it. I mean, I knew what fabulous parents they were and I knew they were doing the best they could, isn’t that what counted? Then … Read More